Update on Mom

i hadn't updated in awhile on Mom so i thought i'd take a few mins this morning before i dig into the financial statements to update you all on how she's doing. :-]

today is actually her last day of radiation! she's super excited about that. she said it wasn't that bad - it only took about 15 mins every day. she's actually on her last dose of chemo for today as well. she'll have a month off before she starts it again. AND yesterday she started up at work again! supposedly she was annoying her Dr.'s so much that they finally decided to just let her go. [if there's any doubt where i got my stubbornness and insistent personality from, it's her.] i was talking to her the other day on skype (which by the way is FREE to the rest of my family - aka GET IT SO WE CAN SEE ONE ANOTHER) and she was all worried about needing to find her steel toed boots :-] she has a decent amount of energy, though she is on steroids still. they are weening her off of those little by little, but it will be awhile until she's all the way off. over all i think her spirits are still pretty good. she's quite the fighter. :-] she'll be having another MRI at some point in the near future to see if the tumor has returned and what the next step is from there.

personally i'm doing ok with everything. meaning, not good, and not horrible. literally just ok. i haven't seen her since she was actually diagnosed with glioblastoma - we've only talked over the phone and skyped. so, needless to say i'm excited to go home over thanksgiving and christmas this year! it will probably be emotional, but i have to continually put her in God's arms, and remember He has it all under control.

Isaiah 50 

thus saith the Lord... 

was my arm too short to deliver you? 

do I lack the strength to rescue you? 

by a mere rebuke I dry up the sea!

Isaiah 59

surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, 
   nor his ear too dull to hear. 

i read verses like those and find comfort.

don't get me wrong: i still have freak out, full blown crying sessions. :-] i'm still a woman with emotions that are hard to keep under control sometimes. but i always go back to His words and know His Spirit is with me. He knows my needs, the deep desires of my heart i don't tell anyone. and He also knows how hard it is for me to be here while my mother is battling for her life there. but He's also made it perfectly clear that this is my place for now. He wants me here. and i'm not going anywhere anytime soon. i feel like some people might look down at me for that. "you're mother has cancer and you're not moving home!?" but you know what? i'm not here to serve my mom, i'm here on earth to serve Christ.

and i will go where He calls - even if it's hard.
even if it means being 2,000 miles away.
even if it means i don't see her as much as i'd like to.

it's not about me and what i want. no, not at all. it's about Him and He knows what's best. and i cling to that.

so please continue to pray for Mom - for me - for the rest of the family.
the prayers mean more than you'll ever be able to understand.

sittin' in the dust of His feet,