October 6th, 2012 at 11:30am my life was forever changed.
I went from being a part time accountant/full time babysitter to a mother of 4 in a matter of 30 minutes.
It took me probably a good 8 months-ish to realize that God had actually filled a life long desire that I had had for years. Isn’t it funny how He blesses us so abundantly and yet we so often don’t even realize it and don’t even thank Him? Since I was probably in Junior High I always wanted to have 5 kids. Five just seemed like a great number me – I had no idea why, I just set my heart on 5 kids. I thought “well, that’s what it takes to fill up a mini-van sooooooooo, SOUNDS GOOD!”
I didn’t realize what work it was to have children. I made that desire based on a simple ‘this sounds fun’ without any idea what it actually entailed....
Did I realize the sleepless nights that came with 5 kids?
Did I realize the stress that came with 5 kids?
Did I realize the responsibility that came with teaching 5 kids about Jesus?
Did I realize the weight of maintaining a household and 5 children on top of that?
Did I realize the hurt & pain that would be inflicted in my heart because of 5 kids?
Did I realize the lessons I would learn in how selfish I really am and how much I serve myself instead of others?
The answer to every single one of these questions: A BIG FAT NO.
Do you think I understood the power of Jesus as much before children as I do now?
Do you think I understood the saying “having kids is like having your heart walking around outside your body all day long”?
Do you think I understood the extent of God’s grace in my life day after day?
Do you think I understood the capability of God washing & healing my hurts & pains away?
Do you think I understood how many blessings come with 5 children?
And the answer to every single one of those questions: NO.I had no idea what 5 children meant. And I’m thankful that I didn’t! I know that I have so much more to learn... so much more to experience.
But in this last year... it has been one rollercoaster ride that with dip after dip after dip after dip -- and yes, some days i go to bed thinking "i just want off, i just want off", BUT :: HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EVERY DAY AND SOME HOW HE RENEWS MY WEAK STRENGTH WITH HIS AND I KEEP GOING.
it's amazing what a year can do to a child. it's amazing what a bath and clean clothes can do to a child. it's amazing what unconditionally love can do to a child. and it's even more amazing what Jesus' love does to a child.
God -- thank YOU for putting these children in my life. YOU have forever changed me through them -- and for that I PRAISE YOUR HIGH NAME!